I was reminded to a something so special that i heard from our beloved Dr. Umar Faruq
“if you took a disobedient muslim who doesnt pray or fast but testifies to there only being one God and His beloved messenger
and you were to open their heart the light of the testimony of faith in their heart
would blind the world
as oppose to the human with out the word in their heart.
you become special amongst creation… a light to walk amongst humanity”
praise God.
how hard it is to love you.
and hate you, my insides are no longer aligned…
or assigned to such an easy task…this ugly mask was once so beautiful that i was scared to touch it
or take it off
for fear i would reveal a soul different from what you had envisioned.
from what i had envisioned
we were both willing to stay here
forever…or leave freely
and happily
if we were no longer meant for one another.
sent for one another
to gather the pieces that fell from heaven and gently make this place seem whole
two strangers in the distance
the only familiar bond is love
although it is broken
and blue
we recognize its first form and true shape
lest we decide to rather take mementos and souvenirs
of a poetic potential
pleasures unmatched
riches untapped
if we could only trust
or take a seed of this lust
and learn the sacred alchemy
turn love over
and uncover our most
sacred secret
so divine
i find
myself
witnessing you next to me
as we circle
Our Lords Throne
he hits you.
i imagine it feels better then when he takes you.
under his hand.
and handles you as he has done many women before you. and while with you.
because i have never seen anyone chase love to death.
like a flower too tender to tell you she is full of water…leaves yellow…from fear of you lifting your hand from her and keeping it away far too long…she is still and silent….and drowning.
on my most faithful day
i am a sinner
stuck in silence negotiating the line between right and wrong
ive sung this song 100 times too many
on my most faithful day
i am a soul not seeking enough forgiveness for all the sins ive committed
to careless and carefree in the mercy surrounding
cushioning my endless fall from grace
from restraint as i loosen the disciplined Ive gained
in a breath i let it all slip away
on my most faithful day i am still not quite awake or aware of the grand goodness
majestic favor softly placed upon my forehead the kiss keeping me from insult and injury
protecting me from every ugly accusation that is valid and justified.
to love and all its ugliness to fear in all its bloodiness
tied and torn between two different paths two different
grasps tear at my heart and i swear the whispers sully me
slim swollen and starving for affection
starving for attention
from my own eyes
my own lies have lead me in circles of beauty and wonder
in the most exquisite colors…my most desired lover
will oneday be myself
i make this vow
but still in silence
still im quiet and shy of my magic
my music
my mystery my secret my sacred
my life my sentence
will soon be ending ever
happily…ever after i swear to never
see the signs and still not quiver
still not rush
still not hurry
still not
still my cup…
and let the divine alchemy work…
and God make love
today i found the love i was suppose to give you
and it was old
and torn
and tired
of waiting and hopin that it would one day fit
and living has been happening since my last post. i know its been a long time. i been on the road so much lately. im learning and enjoying it all so much. especially since my lil lady comes along with me. its as if she opens so many more doors…so many more paths to awakening.
tomorrow im on my way to the the alternate roots annual meeting. i was nominated for a scholarship and was recently given notice that i am a award recipient. im truly grateful for all the love and support.
promise to let you know how it went. and more to come on the vancouver folk fest, and muslimfest. id like to dedicate time to writing about my last performance experience, and the response i received from those in attendance.
my lesson for these last few days. “my lord is mercy”
remember to live in the moment. give the moment its rights. and love courageously. with no hesitation. love. love. love. and give thanks.
soon.
L
